This is sappy, but that's okay

At the end of the day many times I feel exhausted and spent. Tonight is not one of those nights. I want to remember the feeling I have right now. I wish I could freeze my kids and keep them exactly as they are now.

My son is still so sweet and loving and not afraid to tell me how much he loves me. He lets me hug and kiss him (for the most part) and he is so open and honest about his feelings. He still thinks I am great and wants to spend plenty of time with me.

My daughter has a couple of years until she is officially a teenager and yet I notice subtle shifts and changes occurring in her. She still wants to spend plenty of time with me and the family and she still values my opinion. Yet, I notice that she spends just a little more time alone these days. I can't really put my finger on specific changes and yet I sense that my girl is growing up.

Today flowed nicely around here and that doesn't always happen. We have a houseful of strong personalities and that can cause some major conflicts. This family of mine love each other with the intensity of a thousand suns and yet those intense feelings permeate our relationships. We love hard and our conflicts can be loud and purposeful. But in the end, we always come back to each other. This is our safe place. We can be ourselves here and we can rest assured we are loved. As mother, I will try and help my kids to become the best that they can be but in the end I love them for them and not because of anything they say or do.

My kids can wear me out, frustrate me, challenge me, scare me, push me and make me think I will lose my mind.  They can also make me feel like the most important and loved person in the world.  That is why I know in my heart that this is the best time of my life.

Christmas Eve with Kids

We had friends over for brunch today and went to a party tonight. Jack spent most of the night begging us to come home because he was nervous Santa would come by the house and we wouldn't be here. That would mean no presents could be delivered. He wants to sleep in our bed tonight because he still doesn't like the idea of someone (Santa) being in the house during the night while he sleeps. So, it should be extra cozy in bed tonight. I'm off to prepare for the morning and try to get some sleep in my crowded bed. Making Christmas special is a lot of work but enjoying it with the kids makes it all worth it.

Where I've Been

It's official - I am a horribly inconsistent blogger. I love to write and document, I just need to do more of that in this space. The following is an essay of what I've been up to lately, in pictures.

Book Review - The Middle Place

The Middle Place was written by Kelly Corrigan and is about, among many other things, her and her father's battle with cancer. The book is a tremendous story about the love she has for her father and how difficult it is for her to deal with the fact that he has cancer and could possibly die. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and read through it in three sittings which is rare for me. I was completely envious of the way she viewed her father and the relationship that they shared. Having grown up with a father that was completely apathetic, reading a story about a father who was so loving towards his daughter was heart warming. The author's father is definitely a rare breed and sounds like someone who would be wonderful to know let alone grow up with and have on your side. Kelly Corrigan gives us a true glimpse in to what it is like to be young and dealing with cancer while still being a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. I found the book to be compelling and honest in a way that made me feel I would like to know more about Kelly Corrigan and definitely look forward to more of her writing in the future.

Summer Plans

On our way to the library this afternoon I asked the kids what they have planned and what they would like to accomplish over the summer. My daughter's list: 1) read more books, 2) do more art, 3) swim, 4) give more hugs and kisses, and 5) be nicer to my brother. My son's list: 1) spend more time with you (me).

Although I'm not sure how he can possibly spend more time with me, I like the way these kids think.

A GOOD DAY

Today was a good day. The kids and I hung around the house in the morning. Then we went to the puppet theatre in Balboa Park for a performance of Peter Rabbit.


Jack especially loved the show and has retold to story several times to anyone that will listen. After that we went to lunch and browsed around the bookstore for a while.




Later in the day we picked up grandma and met up with Brian for an outing to our local farmers market. We scored some tasty strawberries and granola.

We went back to grandma's house and the kids played with their cousin for awhile.

Gone so long

Wow, I've been gone awhile. Life has kicked my butt over the last few months but I'm working my way back.

My kids still seem to amaze me everyday. Although the decision to homeschool just felt right to me, actually carrying it out on a daily basis has been a different story. Have we made the "right" decision? Are we failing our kids somehow? Will they grow up not knowing what they need to know? Although in my gut I know this is the best for our family I still battle the voice in my head that tells me I should just do the "normal" thing and send them to school. The freedom this lifestyle allows us means a lot to me. When I begin to doubt myself and wonder whether they are benefiting from our homeschool experience I take a step back and observe.









Maybe this lovely life will work out okay after all.